this is really bad i can’t stop thinking about turian j’on stewart and salarian stevan kolber
and, thanks to ladragonaria, krogan limbah of clan rush, angrily reporting on wrex and bakara and the dangers of their new salarian alliance ruining tuchanka this is the end
and batarian glan bekk, conservative. cheer or cry foul.
Anne Coulter vorcha. That’s all I’m saying.
my hand slipped oops
I’ve never been happier.
the mass effect characters old and gray, still meeting up every year for a normandy reunion
wearing NORMANDY 4EVA t-shirts (james gets the krogan size ‘cause that’s what fits him best)
reliving their finest battles as food fights, launching ketchup attacks as heavy fire
garrus’s laugh creakier than ever; joker going bald and hiding it with his hat; james getting a bit chunky around the middle but still showing off his guns; kaidan all but gray, still packing down the sandwiches; miranda with a single white streak that’s foxy as hell; jack white haired with her tattoos touched up and her mouth filthy as ever; traynor still not living down the toothbrush thing, really, guys? really?; kasumi still managing, somehow, by the end of the night, to clap vega’s ass when he least expects it; grunt never too old for piggy-back rides
and liara and EDI look exactly the same as ever; so does wrex, but he’s not passing on his secret krogan skin care regimen, heh heh
and shepard—shepard, who always shows the scariest of scars off to the local kids and sends them shrieking with delight away from the front door; shepard, who’s made up of more titanium pins and replacement parts than original; shepard, whose hearing is shot, whose knees hurt worse than they ever let on, whose joints ache when it’s about to rain; shepard, the mortal, not the myth, still doesn’t know how to lose at skyllian five gracefully
and still insists on beating james’s chin-up record every damn time
and still takes a picture of the whole group together. one every year. you don’t take that for granted, and shepard never will
but damn, they’re a real old group of curmudgeons these days, aren’t they
jeff and jack
And a toast, to seashells.